Passion and Purpose: Not a Straight Path

Purpose. 

Its one of those words that can either leave you inspired or leave you feeling inadequate. We are all meant to have it, right?

I have always been a little envious of friends that discovered their purpose, their passion, early in life. There seemed to be now doubt about what they were meant to be, meant to do or meant to achieve. They knew what they liked and they focused on that.

Me, on the other hand, has flipped flopped through hobbies and interests and dreams and men. Always searching and believing that there was a purpose, an important purpose that I was put on this earth for. It just took 46 years for me to work it out.

But! I am glad it took that long. Because all of those little meandering creeks that I followed, and all of those ‘why not’ choices I made have led me exactly to where I am meant to be and most importantly where I need to be.

Each of the paths I followed were not a flippant waste of my time. Each little path provided lessons, feedback, new experiences and new people that have all smooched up together to form my unique picture of life.

Just like Jobs said “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future”.

These dots have all started connecting lately, connecting in spontaneous manner without effort or direction on my behalf.

Many coaches and successful entrepreneurs talk a lot about setting goals, having a five-year plan, and being clear on where you are going. But I prefer the approach of Danielle LaPorte, the focus in not on goals but on desires.

Having purpose cannot be dictated or measured by numbers. Having purpose should not be set in stone. Having purpose is having meaning in life, a meaning that makes you want to get up in the morning, makes you want to overcome obstacles and makes you feel that you make a difference. These are all about feelings not havings.

What is it you want to feel?

What makes you feel good deep down?

What energises you?

What makes you smile?

Somewhere in all that is your purpose and it is not a matter of getting super clear and super focused because paradoxically it is when you relax your focus, soften your gaze, and release judgment that your purpose will reveal itself.

I would love to hear if you feel you know your purpose and how you found it. Was it an A-Ha moment or more of a gradual awareness?

Stay groovy

Kim

Website: Happy Healthy Groovy

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Embracing your wonderful weaknesses

Last week I was encouraging you to look less critically at your body, to stop finding fault with its individual parts and embrace its beauty.

Just like everything in the universe, we do have dark and light, yin and yang, strengths and weaknesses…lets just call them areas for development or ‘change points”.

No one is perfect and that is the wonder of our individual uniqueness but most of us are on a path of growth, a path of personal development in which it is equally important to be kind and generous with yourself as it is to be gently critical. I know that if you are choosing to grow and evolve you want to be a better person than you were yesterday. To be of service to others and to yourself there are likely to be characteristics or tendencies or habits that you want to improve.

As with everything, balance is the key and making choices to improve areas of your life, your attitude or your body should be done with discretion. Some things are as they are, and the effort required to change is not worth the pain of changing.

Maybe what you think is a design fault is actually what makes you unique and is what other people admire. Have you ever been complimented for something about yourself that you hate? I often get comments on my skin…I think my face is freckly and sun damaged and I am always bemused by these compliments. Go figure!

When identifying areas for improvement, be that physical, attitude, or personality, be clear on whether this is something you want to change, that you need to change, or indeed that you can change.

Don’t waste time and precious energy focusing on things you don’t like but are really wonderful weakness that make you who you are. For it is these weaknesses that we so often grow into as we mature and strangely come to be proud of.

I always down on myself for my inability to focus on any one hobby, interest or idea and I admired people who had singular focus on their path in life. While I still admire those people I have come to realise that my ‘flitting around’ has led me to have an eclectic, vast array of knowledge and ability to see many different points of view. I like being eclectic.

 

So consider parts of yourself or your life that are worth developing and improving and set about changing them with love. And the rest…well embrace your oddities and just be who you are.

Stay groovy

Kim

Website: Happy Healthy Groovy

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Can you see your strengths and your beauty??

It is sadly easy to list all the things about your body or your personality that you don’t like or that don’t meet your level of acceptability.

If I ask you to list five strengths or five things that you like about your body, what would they be? Is that easy for you? Do you quickly think of one or two strengths and then get stumped, struggling to find any more?

One reason I think many of us struggle to list our strengths is that society has taught us to be humble – but this is not a positive form of humility but rather a means of keeping us all in our small little boxes. Keeping us from thinking we are better than anyone else. Australian culture does this particularly well and the tall poppy syndrome is a famous Aussie characteristic.

So we learn early in life not to stand out from others and it is seen as a failing of character to proudly acknowledge our achievements or skills. Women in particular have learnt this lesson well.

If you have every been involved in recruiting you will see how women tend to downplay their achievements while men are more comfortable in identifying and sharing their accomplishments, noteworthy strengths, character or skills.

When it comes to appreciating the wonder and beauty of our body women have also socially and culturally learnt the mechanisms of criticism much more competently then men. The old truism of a 45 yr old male with beer belly and balding hair looking in the mirror and going “oh yeah…looking good ladies” compared to a 45 yr old woman looking in the mirror and seeing unattractive fat and wrinkles.

What do you see when you look at your naked body in the mirror? 

Can you stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself with love and admiration? So many of us struggle with the simple act of compassionately admiring our body.

However the first step in losing weight, changing disordered eating patterns, addressing a health concern, or being the best that you can be, is learning to love what is.

Honestly and compassionately and with pride, acknowledge the strengths of your body and character.

Start to truly see yourself and sit comfortably with your body.

Stand in front of the mirror – naked – and if you can’t quite do that yet, stand in your underwear or your t-shirt or whatever you can manage.

Really look at yourself? What do you see? What do you like? Your hair. Your mouth. Your muscular legs?

When you thoughts are pulled to noticing the ‘bad bits’, acknowledge, readjust the thought and move on. For example, ‘I hate my thighs’ becomes ‘ yep my thighs are heavier than I would like and it would be great if they were slimmer’ and let that thought go, don’t dwell on it but move on to seeing something that is positive – your smooth skin or that you are having a good hair day.

Each time you do this activity see if you can remove more clothing until you are comfortable naked. Each time relax a little more into appreciating your body and what it has done. Maybe it has nurtured a baby?  Maybe it has survived trauma or illness.

Once you start to feel more comfortable and able to honour your body just as it is now, could you put on some music and move, dance – appreciate, accept, smile.

See how practicing this activity changes how you walk down the street. Can you walk a little taller or feel a little prouder?

Being proud and confident is a very attractive quality.

Stay groovy

Kim

Happy Healthy Groovy

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Tea parties, healthy choices and transformation

Do you ever feel like there is a tea party in your head?

Discussing, analysing, debating and arguing different points of view on whatever the topic is you are thinking about. Then telling you what the right opinion is.

I do.

Does this rabble of voice wake you up at 2am demanding that you listen? Mine do?

No I am not delusional or crazy (not technically at least) but I have always struggled to control the tea parties that go on in my head, tried to quiet the incessant analysis of every situation, and inevitably negative opinion of my choices, my eating, or my body. 

Why am I like this I wonder? Is it because I am a Gemini and can easily see multiple sides to any situation? Is it because I have a Vata Dosha driven by air and movement that needs to be more grounded? Is it because of my upbringing?

I have come to the conclusion that it really doesn't matter why, what does matter is being aware of my strengths, weaknesses and tendencies. Being connected to my body and spirit so that I can feel what my needs and desires truly are, accepting certain undeniable truths and then taking action to provide an optimal internal and external environment for peace, purpose and passion. This includes making positive choices around health, food and being kind to my body.

Over the next three months I am going to spend some time discussing topics that I think are important in the quest for living a life that embodies health, peace, purpose and passion.

I don’t claim to have it all sorted, and some days I have it more sorted than others. So I would love to hear your ideas and comments as we travel along the next few months.

During July the discussion will be around creating awareness through reflecting on your strengths, your growth points (sounds nicer than weakness doesn’t it), your purpose and what authenticity means to you.

During August the focus will be on acceptance of the discomfort that can arise during a growth or transformation time in your life, including when you are moving into a different phase of health awareness. Accepting the perceived barriers, accepting that neither you or nor your life are perfect, knowing that growth demands that you step out of your comfort zone and that there might be some short term pain.

September will see the discussion shift from internal work to taking action through changes to nutrition, activity, spiritual practice and desire mapping.

So I hope you join me for weekly posts on Facebook and my blog and I might even give videos a go.

Stay Groovy

Kim

www.happyhealthygroovy.com.au

Making Magic Happen: Trust and Action

Magic happens when you are in a flow state; when your mind, body and spirit are aligned and you feel connected with a power and energy that is greater than you. I call this feeling...Being in Your Groove. That place of optimal peace and vitality where anything is possible. 

When you are in Your Groove little sparkles of magic happen. That chance meeting with someone who can open doors for you business, the day where every meeting runs to time, the massage therapist who usually has a wait list has a cancellation two minutes before your call, the taxi arrives just as you step out your door, the plane departs right on time and life is running pretty damn good. 

Often these little sparkles of magic go unwitnessed as you rush through your busy life. Often this magic is taken for granted or considered merely good luck or coincidence. And when you are not in Your Groove, not in a state of flow, the magic seems to disappear and it is a struggle to see any sparkles at all. 

When magic disappears you become more constricted, frustrated, depressed and even angry at the world for your bad luck. It is easy from this place of constriction to get stuck  in the 'Wo is me' cycle in which negative feelings further block the flow of positive energy and chances of little magical moments, are few and far between. 

A conscious decision to break the cycle is required and I believe there are two essential elements required to Finding Your Groove: Trust and Action.

First you need to unwind that constricted state that seeks to control the situation in the mistaken belief that the more control you have, the better the outcome. Control is the opposite of trust in materialising magic. Control blocks energy while trust releases energy. Trust requires a belief that everything has a reason or a lesson. Trust requires believing that you are part of a larger whole, a larger purpose. Some ways you can start stepping into that place of trust and connection with universal flow are:

1. Spend time in nature: This is so essential, particularly for us city dwellers. Connection with nature reminds us of our small but important place within this wonderful world. Nature makes you smile, it makes you breath more deeply, and you cannot help but feel uplifted by the warmth of the sun, the smell of the trees and sound of birds or ocean waves. Nature grounds us back into our bodies and most of us spend a lot of time in your heads. 

2. Meditation and breathing exercises: This don't have to be long sessions of silence. Start slowly with just 5 minutes of sitting quietly at about the same time each day. Find a guided meditation audio download if you find that helps keep you focused. 

3. Gratitude journal: Make a habit of everyday (I do it in at night just before turning the lights out) of writing a list of everything you are grateful for, from the smallest thing (that you have clean sheets to crawl into tonight) to love, to the weather, to work success, to your health...anything and everything. Gratitude has been shown to correlate to happiness and gratitude is a habit that anyone can start. 

The second element for magical moments is taking action. Now you may be thinking this is the opposite to trust and letting go to what is. By action I mean that from a place of trust you step into doing the things that support your goals. Just like a single woman who complains she can't meet any good men but who sits at home watching the TV every night, magic is not going to happen if you don't step out your front door and take action. 

Sure it is sometimes necessary to just float for awhile to rejuvenate but at some point you have to decide to swim to where you want to be or you will continue to float to wherever the river takes you. Some tips to taking action:

1. Learn to distinguish between fear that is a sense of dread (don't do it) and fear that is excitement without the breath (feel the fear and do it anyway). This is where meditation and grounding through nature can help to quiet the mind and connect with how you really feel. Change or achievements don't happen in your comfort zone, take a risk!

2. Give yourself permission to stuff up. Perfectionism is a huge barrier to taking action (I know because this is my tendency). You don't need to take perfect action, just small, consistent, imperfect action is all that is required for magic to happen. 

It is a balance of trusting (letting go of control) and taking action that creates opportunities for magic to happen. 

Stay Groovy

Kim 

Website: Happy Healthy Groovy
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