Passion and Purpose: Not a Straight Path

Purpose. 

Its one of those words that can either leave you inspired or leave you feeling inadequate. We are all meant to have it, right?

I have always been a little envious of friends that discovered their purpose, their passion, early in life. There seemed to be now doubt about what they were meant to be, meant to do or meant to achieve. They knew what they liked and they focused on that.

Me, on the other hand, has flipped flopped through hobbies and interests and dreams and men. Always searching and believing that there was a purpose, an important purpose that I was put on this earth for. It just took 46 years for me to work it out.

But! I am glad it took that long. Because all of those little meandering creeks that I followed, and all of those ‘why not’ choices I made have led me exactly to where I am meant to be and most importantly where I need to be.

Each of the paths I followed were not a flippant waste of my time. Each little path provided lessons, feedback, new experiences and new people that have all smooched up together to form my unique picture of life.

Just like Jobs said “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future”.

These dots have all started connecting lately, connecting in spontaneous manner without effort or direction on my behalf.

Many coaches and successful entrepreneurs talk a lot about setting goals, having a five-year plan, and being clear on where you are going. But I prefer the approach of Danielle LaPorte, the focus in not on goals but on desires.

Having purpose cannot be dictated or measured by numbers. Having purpose should not be set in stone. Having purpose is having meaning in life, a meaning that makes you want to get up in the morning, makes you want to overcome obstacles and makes you feel that you make a difference. These are all about feelings not havings.

What is it you want to feel?

What makes you feel good deep down?

What energises you?

What makes you smile?

Somewhere in all that is your purpose and it is not a matter of getting super clear and super focused because paradoxically it is when you relax your focus, soften your gaze, and release judgment that your purpose will reveal itself.

I would love to hear if you feel you know your purpose and how you found it. Was it an A-Ha moment or more of a gradual awareness?

Stay groovy

Kim

Website: Happy Healthy Groovy

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FAQs about eating psychology coaching

Some brief answers to three FAQs I hear:

1. What is an eating psychology coach?

Eating psychology effectively addresses weight concerns, binge eating, overeating, body image challenges, and various nutrition related health concerns. As an Eating Psychology Coach, my approach is positive and empowering. I don’t see your eating challenges merely as a sign that “something is wrong with you” – but as a place where we can more fully explore some of the personal dimensions in life that impact food, weight and health. Oftentimes, our eating challenges are connected to work, money, relationship, family, intimacy, life stress and so much more. My training in this area is through the Institute for the Psychology of Eating.

2. Is what I do counselling?

There are some elements of counselling techniques that I will use but I don't dwell on trying to fix your past. Yes it is important to identify if past or present emotional or psychological circumstances or experiences have played a role in your beliefs or behaviours that are influencing your weight or other health problems, but then the main focus is on actionable, doable strategies that will get you results.

3. If I say that weight loss and food issues are not about the food, does that mean food or diet won't be addressed?

When I say it is not about the diet or it is not about the food, what I believe is that the focus of most weight loss programs is on controlling dietary intake and creating 'rules' for you to live by. This can only be a temporary fix and creates a lot of stress and angst. Good wholesome nutrition is important and if your diet is unbalanced or I believe there is a connection between your current diet and your challenges then yes nutritional changes may be required. Equally important to sustainable success is looking at what else is holding your back from achieving your health goals.

Are you food shaming??

Have you ever caught yourself 'food shaming'?? Judging another woman based on the food she is eating?

For many our constant focus on dieting, eating right, and losing weight means that we have a list of 'good food' and 'bad food'. And by virtue of those labels we too are either bad or good depending on what we eat. If I can't resist the cake then I have eaten food from the bad list and therefore I am bad. I must be punished and eat less at the next meal or do an extra hard workout that afternoon. 

If I eat good food then I am by association good and can congratulate myself and feel quite self - pleased. 

But food is neither good nor bad; it just is. 

Sure there are certain foods that are more nutritious and form part of a healthy balanced diet and there are foods that are devoid on any real nutritious value and thus are not best eaten at every meal or even every day. Despite being nutritionally deficient, these foods, such as cake, cookies, chips, etc still have some nourishing value. They can be comforting and pleasurable if eaten in moderation and with conscious choice. 

The labelling of food bad and our projection of this 'badness' onto ourselves when we consume them, is projected even further onto others that don't adhere to our rules. 

Have you ever been on a strict diet - no carbs, or no sugar or whatever the latest fashionable diet is and have become so convinced of its value that you can't understand how others are not living in accordance with your food rules. 

You silently judge Sally from the office for having New York Baked Cheesecake when you all go for coffee. How could she? Does she have no willpower? Does she not realise how many fat calories are in that little slice? 

Does a little bit of anger come up??

Deep down....you are envious. You are envious that Sally is blatantly enjoying herself while you are yet again going with out. Yet at the same time you feel a little superior for your willpower. Confusing isn't it. 

Its time to let go of judgment of ourselves and of others around food choices. 

If you are feeling great being on your diet and achieving your health goals that is great. If you are making food choices based on fear and rules around what is bad and what is good, life becomes just a little less pleasurable. 

There can be a balanced approach that is based on being in charge of food choices rather than trying to control food choices. 

Join me for a workshop that will provide strategies for achieving a nourishing approach to weight loss and body confidence. Click here Happy Healthy Groovy

Watch my short video on food shaming here.http://youtu.be/XaApxbNLt4Q

Stay Groovy

Kim 

So what is with the hibiscus logo

Two things that are really important to me are colour and nature. I love bright colours that uplift the spirit and energise space and people. Likewise the ability to experience, see, touch and smell nature is essential to my wellbeing. Growing up in Tropical North Queensland probably gave me that connection with the sun, hot humid weather, and being outside all the time. 

More recently I spent 9 weeks living in Ubud, Bali as a volunteer English teacher at a youth centre. The Balinese use flowers to decorate everything, particularly their sacred statues and places and as part of the offerings to the Gods. Hibiscus and frangipani are collected everyday and placed reverently on statues of Ganesha: remover of obstacles.

Flowers were also placed behind the ear of both males and females after making an offering at the temple. I loved this aspect of living with local families and sharing their daily rituals. Even the most mundane item was made more beautiful by the flowers. 

So in creating Happy Healthy Groovy I wanted a symbol of what I want reflected in my practice. 

I want you to embrace your divine beauty, to let your inner goddess glow, and to tap into your intuitive knowledge of how to look after your body and mind. 

The hibiscus also represents, to me, summertime - the time of heat and energy and growth.

And that is what's with the hibiscus.

Stay happy, healthy and groovy

The groovy goddess