Authenticity: Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone?

Authenticity…ugh, another one of those trendy words. But it has so much meaning that I find myself using it a lot lately.

What does being authentic mean to you? Terms like ‘genuine’, ‘not fake’ or ‘having integrity’ are likely to come up. To me being authentic means having a real connection with your inner soul in a way that resonates with your outer expression of self.

This is a little more complicated that ‘what you say is what you do’ which I think is more in line with a definition of integrity. You could behave with ethics and integrity by saying and doing and showing up with congruency so that your colleagues or loved ones trust your word. This is clearly important in the workplace with many of you having worked for someone who did not display integrity and who certainly did not engender trust and commitment from the team.

I think I have for the most part operated with integrity (though unfortunately not all the time) but even when I was aligning my thoughts, words and behaviour I now consider that I was still not acting with authenticity because those these things were not really aligned with my true inner desires and truth.

Authenticity requires you to dig a little deeper, excavate under the socially constructed veneer, through the self-built expectations and wallpaper that cover the real, soul-level you.

 

Not the you that you have learnt to see as yourself, but the real you that is the clear driving force behind your passion and your purpose.

The authentic you doesn’t say or do or believe things because they are only fair, or acceptable, or right, but because they are your truth and there is simply no other alternative then to express your truth.

Reflecting on my last year or two in which I feel I have become more authentically me, I would have to say the drive to make change in my life, the burning desire to discover my passion come from a deep dissatisfaction with who I had become and the work I was doing in the world.

“True growth tends not to be yearned for until the discomfort of the status quo becomes unbearable”

In order to connect with my purpose I took time away from all that I knew and lived overseas doing volunteer work. This disconnection with things that I felt were not aligned with who I was allowed my  creative juices to start flowing again and opened up a part of me that had been ignored for a long time. As I became more aligned with my inner wisdom my purpose and passion starting to unfurl.

Then things kinda got stuck for awhile until I consciously realised a needed to take a large step into my true authenticity and speak it, say it, act it…not just know it.

Are you living your authentic life?

What does that even mean to you?

How can you unearth your soulful authenticity when living in the real world of responsibility and expectations?

The first step is a desire to do so and unfortunately it seems this does not truly occur until the discomfort on life pushes you to explore who you really are.

Stay groovy

Kim

Website: Happy Healthy Groovy

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Passion and Purpose: Not a Straight Path

Purpose. 

Its one of those words that can either leave you inspired or leave you feeling inadequate. We are all meant to have it, right?

I have always been a little envious of friends that discovered their purpose, their passion, early in life. There seemed to be now doubt about what they were meant to be, meant to do or meant to achieve. They knew what they liked and they focused on that.

Me, on the other hand, has flipped flopped through hobbies and interests and dreams and men. Always searching and believing that there was a purpose, an important purpose that I was put on this earth for. It just took 46 years for me to work it out.

But! I am glad it took that long. Because all of those little meandering creeks that I followed, and all of those ‘why not’ choices I made have led me exactly to where I am meant to be and most importantly where I need to be.

Each of the paths I followed were not a flippant waste of my time. Each little path provided lessons, feedback, new experiences and new people that have all smooched up together to form my unique picture of life.

Just like Jobs said “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future”.

These dots have all started connecting lately, connecting in spontaneous manner without effort or direction on my behalf.

Many coaches and successful entrepreneurs talk a lot about setting goals, having a five-year plan, and being clear on where you are going. But I prefer the approach of Danielle LaPorte, the focus in not on goals but on desires.

Having purpose cannot be dictated or measured by numbers. Having purpose should not be set in stone. Having purpose is having meaning in life, a meaning that makes you want to get up in the morning, makes you want to overcome obstacles and makes you feel that you make a difference. These are all about feelings not havings.

What is it you want to feel?

What makes you feel good deep down?

What energises you?

What makes you smile?

Somewhere in all that is your purpose and it is not a matter of getting super clear and super focused because paradoxically it is when you relax your focus, soften your gaze, and release judgment that your purpose will reveal itself.

I would love to hear if you feel you know your purpose and how you found it. Was it an A-Ha moment or more of a gradual awareness?

Stay groovy

Kim

Website: Happy Healthy Groovy

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Embracing your wonderful weaknesses

Last week I was encouraging you to look less critically at your body, to stop finding fault with its individual parts and embrace its beauty.

Just like everything in the universe, we do have dark and light, yin and yang, strengths and weaknesses…lets just call them areas for development or ‘change points”.

No one is perfect and that is the wonder of our individual uniqueness but most of us are on a path of growth, a path of personal development in which it is equally important to be kind and generous with yourself as it is to be gently critical. I know that if you are choosing to grow and evolve you want to be a better person than you were yesterday. To be of service to others and to yourself there are likely to be characteristics or tendencies or habits that you want to improve.

As with everything, balance is the key and making choices to improve areas of your life, your attitude or your body should be done with discretion. Some things are as they are, and the effort required to change is not worth the pain of changing.

Maybe what you think is a design fault is actually what makes you unique and is what other people admire. Have you ever been complimented for something about yourself that you hate? I often get comments on my skin…I think my face is freckly and sun damaged and I am always bemused by these compliments. Go figure!

When identifying areas for improvement, be that physical, attitude, or personality, be clear on whether this is something you want to change, that you need to change, or indeed that you can change.

Don’t waste time and precious energy focusing on things you don’t like but are really wonderful weakness that make you who you are. For it is these weaknesses that we so often grow into as we mature and strangely come to be proud of.

I always down on myself for my inability to focus on any one hobby, interest or idea and I admired people who had singular focus on their path in life. While I still admire those people I have come to realise that my ‘flitting around’ has led me to have an eclectic, vast array of knowledge and ability to see many different points of view. I like being eclectic.

 

So consider parts of yourself or your life that are worth developing and improving and set about changing them with love. And the rest…well embrace your oddities and just be who you are.

Stay groovy

Kim

Website: Happy Healthy Groovy

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Can you see your strengths and your beauty??

It is sadly easy to list all the things about your body or your personality that you don’t like or that don’t meet your level of acceptability.

If I ask you to list five strengths or five things that you like about your body, what would they be? Is that easy for you? Do you quickly think of one or two strengths and then get stumped, struggling to find any more?

One reason I think many of us struggle to list our strengths is that society has taught us to be humble – but this is not a positive form of humility but rather a means of keeping us all in our small little boxes. Keeping us from thinking we are better than anyone else. Australian culture does this particularly well and the tall poppy syndrome is a famous Aussie characteristic.

So we learn early in life not to stand out from others and it is seen as a failing of character to proudly acknowledge our achievements or skills. Women in particular have learnt this lesson well.

If you have every been involved in recruiting you will see how women tend to downplay their achievements while men are more comfortable in identifying and sharing their accomplishments, noteworthy strengths, character or skills.

When it comes to appreciating the wonder and beauty of our body women have also socially and culturally learnt the mechanisms of criticism much more competently then men. The old truism of a 45 yr old male with beer belly and balding hair looking in the mirror and going “oh yeah…looking good ladies” compared to a 45 yr old woman looking in the mirror and seeing unattractive fat and wrinkles.

What do you see when you look at your naked body in the mirror? 

Can you stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself with love and admiration? So many of us struggle with the simple act of compassionately admiring our body.

However the first step in losing weight, changing disordered eating patterns, addressing a health concern, or being the best that you can be, is learning to love what is.

Honestly and compassionately and with pride, acknowledge the strengths of your body and character.

Start to truly see yourself and sit comfortably with your body.

Stand in front of the mirror – naked – and if you can’t quite do that yet, stand in your underwear or your t-shirt or whatever you can manage.

Really look at yourself? What do you see? What do you like? Your hair. Your mouth. Your muscular legs?

When you thoughts are pulled to noticing the ‘bad bits’, acknowledge, readjust the thought and move on. For example, ‘I hate my thighs’ becomes ‘ yep my thighs are heavier than I would like and it would be great if they were slimmer’ and let that thought go, don’t dwell on it but move on to seeing something that is positive – your smooth skin or that you are having a good hair day.

Each time you do this activity see if you can remove more clothing until you are comfortable naked. Each time relax a little more into appreciating your body and what it has done. Maybe it has nurtured a baby?  Maybe it has survived trauma or illness.

Once you start to feel more comfortable and able to honour your body just as it is now, could you put on some music and move, dance – appreciate, accept, smile.

See how practicing this activity changes how you walk down the street. Can you walk a little taller or feel a little prouder?

Being proud and confident is a very attractive quality.

Stay groovy

Kim

Happy Healthy Groovy

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